so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So. Much. Porn.
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