I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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