Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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