i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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