I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
