Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
