Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
