Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
