dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
