I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
