watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
