My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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