My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
