Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize