I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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