i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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