around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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