i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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