according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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