It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize