Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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