they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
