obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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