a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
