Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
