she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
