I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
