It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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