There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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