i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
