He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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