I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
