no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
