And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
