When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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