the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
