I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
