It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
