I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
