Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
