There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
