you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
