whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
