She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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