i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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