Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
