the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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