her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize