so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
