I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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