Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
