Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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