Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
