Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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