Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize