I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
