Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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