1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
