Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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