weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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