:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
