I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize