why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
