Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
