Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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