margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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