How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
