Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize