She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
