I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize