have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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