Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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