i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
