he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
