areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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